What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) or “Parts Work” All About?
Internal Family Systems (IFS), or “parts work,” is a way of understanding our past experiences, as well as a path to heal from them. This approach was discovered by Dr. Richard Schwartz, LMFT, in the 1980s. Dr. Schwartz noticed that often his clients referred to “parts” of themselves feeling one way or another, acting on information, or taking over in times of distress. Dr. Schwartz began to create a map of his client’s internal experiences and in doing so, created the IFS model.
IFS is based on the idea that, just like we have various family members in our lives with different roles, we also have internalized family members or “parts” within us. Our “core self” is our truest, most authentic version of ourselves.
I sometimes describe the core self as the warm feeling of connection with yourself you get when you sink down into the true you (This core self sometimes comes out when you’re engaged in your favorite hobby or doing work you’re passionate about). We also have other very important parts that, when in alignment, function like a well oiled machine fueled by our core self: Think the beginning of the Disney movie Inside Out when all of the parts-joy, anger, disgust, sadness, etc.- are taking turns driving and keeping everything going well for Riley.
However, sometimes these parts can get out of alignment when something traumatic happens, we are hurt by someone we care about, or even through intergenerational trauma. These parts may take on stronger or more extreme roles to protect our core self from any further trauma or hardship. There are three main types of parts that are involved when a person is in emotional pain: exiles, managers, and firefighters. These parts tend to obscure access to the core self and dim our light in order to keep us protected.
Exiles are the parts of us that we lock away in the metaphorical “basement” of our brain. These are parts that are vulnerable, hurt, and often hold shame or pain or terrible memories from our pasts.
Managers are responsible for day to day protection and guarding. They think about how others may perceive us, constrain our behavior, control situations and relationships, and avoid triggers to keep us from getting hurt. Their main goals are to keep us from being reminded of our exiles and to keep us from ending up in similar situations. Often manager behaviors will outwardly present as anxiety, depression, or even changes in our personality.
Firefighters tend to swoop in after an exile has been triggered and is rattling the handle on the basement door. Their goal is to quickly soothe or distract from these overwhelming and painful feelings. They have immense power in a moment but they tend to lose energy quickly like a firework. This can look like addiction, suicidality, rage, dissociation, or compulsion.
As Dr. Schwartz says, there are no bad parts. All parts are just trying to keep us safe from harm. When our parts feel truly healed and safe,we can better access our core self and live more congruently. This can be hard to believe when a part of us is thinking about suicide or keeping us from reaching our goals because it is scared of what others will think of us. It is important to consider that often these parts do not want to have to take on these roles but are called to do so in the moment to keep us safe from pain.
In therapy, you can get to know these parts, to understand them, and even to love and heal them. To do this we map out your various parts, learn what leads them to do the job they do and what pain underlies each of them.
We will see if there are other ways your parts can go about coping with situations, as well as letting go of pain from the past. We also work to connect you to your core self and to bring this healing energy to the parts of you that are hurting. When clients can access their core self more often, they are less weighed down by past trauma and outdated coping skills and are able to feel more engaged, energetic, and fulfilled in their lives.
Interested in learning more about parts work and if it could be a good fit for you in therapy? Reach out to schedule a consultation. We would love to discuss this powerful modality with you and answer any questions you have.